A bunch of depressing rambling.

The sheer amount of how much people suck astounds me.

I try and act like I don't give a shit what people think about me, but I do. The fact is one of my best friends up and said: "I don't want to talk to you anymore." Yet I'm still trying to talk to her. I don't understand it. I really don't. I just can't stand being shut out of someone's life so coldly like that. I don't get it.

And then there's psycho facebook chick. Which, I'm not sure if I want to deal with anymore, but I hate being fucking ignored more than anything else. It just makes me...Ugh.

I love college, but I just want to sleep. I'm over-tired nad Grandma woke me up at 5:30 today banging shit around. I'm exhausted, and I have 2 tests tomorrow and Uncharted is pissing me off and I think my period is changing times because I think I'm PMSing, which is weird.

Whoa. Hello, run-on sentence.

I think I'm just overly upset because of Michelle. I don't get it....I know her stupid girlfriend is telling her to do all of this shit. Even though she won't admit to it.  I hate weak-willed people like that. It's awful, but I really hope they break up so I can get my friend back. Because it's not fair I'm always the one that gets fucking shut out like this!  I'm always the person people get tired of, I'm always the person people use. They only talk to me because they want or need something from me, then they shove me aside like some fucking dirty laundry. Everyone does it.

And after all of that, if I say one thing is going wrong with me, they say: "I'm not your therapist." Or something like that. Yes, it has happened before. Like three times.  I just wish one day, just one, someone could ask if I'm okay. Because I'm not.  I'm using this blog to rant, so, yeah. That's all the shit going on in my head.

My grandma started radiation treatments today. She's doing it all week. The first treatment went well, but everyone's on edge and it's killing me. I just want to lie down and sleep for a couple of hours and forget everything. Is that too much to ask for? The closest thing I have to that is video games, because I essentially turn my brain off.

Man...I really don't want to be alone right now. But it's not like anyone's going to listen to me, anyhow. Guess I'll go back to my video games. Writing the blog didn't make me feel better, though.