I've had a fucking great weekend.
I went to Japanese Movie Night with a few buddies of mine and GABBY was there! It was so awesome! The movie was pretty crap (Ten Ten) but it was fun to make fun of. And we had loads of junk food. After, they came over and we watched Bruno (Then quickly shut it off o__o;;; ) and then turned on Role Models. Which, thankfully, was pretty fucking epic.
Yesterday, Matt came over so I could help him do his SCC stuff. But guess what? The entire Los Rios system was down yesterday! -facepalm- Yup. I even called them. 20 minutes later, they texted everyone saying that the system was down. =/ Fuckers. Maybe I reminded them to actually TELL people.
So yeah, instead of doing that, we hopped into his car and went to Starbucks. We sat outside and talked about random shit for a while, and then went to Game Stop. We didn't buy anything, but we were in there for nearly an hour and a half searching through the bargain bin like cheap people. :]]]
I found Starfox Adventures for $8, and I TRIED to buy it, but the fucking Game Stop didn't have it. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK. I was so disappointed. Matt said he'd loan it to me, though, so it's all good! :]]] I'm relatively happy atm.
After Game Stop we went to McDonalds. Oh my god, those fries are crack. For real. After that we went to SF Market, the Asian Supermarket by my house. I got chips, vanilla ice cream mochi, and red bean mochi. Dude, we pigged the fuck out.
We had a retro night and played Nintendo 64 all night. Mario Golf, Snowboard Kids 2, and then we hooked up the PS3 and played GTA: IV. We made up Chuck Roosky, who is the Russian version of Chuck Norris. It was hilarious. And we caused mayhem! WITHOUT CHEAT CODES. Now THAT is an accomplishment.
I've known Matt since first grade, so he's been coming over for a long time. I haven't seen him for ages, so it was nice to hang out for a while. Today, though, I really gotta work on my homework: mainly my CSI study guide. I've been putting it off. @__@
But for right now, I just want to read fanfiction and drink my coffee happily. :]
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
NaNoWriMo
National Writing Month.
I'm determined to do it this year.
I gotta figure out what novel to work on, though...I have loads of them.
I'm determined to do it this year.
I gotta figure out what novel to work on, though...I have loads of them.
A Few Confessions...
I've thought about killing myself.
Ever since middle school, I've been battling with it. The reasons don't matter, but I always had this awful, awful feeling that I meant absolutely nothing to anyone. That no one would miss me when I was gone. That my life would be better for everyone if I just offed myself.
I hated myself for a long, long time.
A few weeks ago, the thoughts started to return. But as I let myself meet new people, forget about the people that hurt me, and get out of the house more, they gradually faded away. I'm happy now. I know who I am. I know what i'm going to do. And I'm trying to get a job and my permit test is next month.
I've come a long way since then. And I know now that if I ever did something as stupid as that, a lot of people would cry. And my life is just beginning. I used to think that people that said: "High school is only the beginning. Life starts after it." were stupid and didn't know shit. But I was wrong. College is the best experience of my life. I've met so many people, and I'm having so much fun. I'm learning loads. I've never been so happy, so at peace in my entire life.
I might get a job at Payless. It's a weekend job, but it's something. I'm going to be driving soon. I'm going to have freedom. I have money now. And my parents are being kind to me for the first time since I was little. I'm really, honestly...happy.
It's like all the shit I went through, now I'm finally free. I feel lighter and just all around a better person.
:] Heavy blog post is heavy. But it's great to write it and look back at how far I've come.
I joined Japanese Culture Club and Anime Club. I went to movie ngiht tonight and hung out with people. It was great.
I'm ready for my life to begin, and I'm going to stop looking back. Fuck the people that hurt me. I'm not going to beg for them to come back anymore. They can live their life. And if they come crawling back to me, they can go fuck themselves. I'm not taking anyone's shit anymore. I'll never put myself in a position to be used ever again.
I'm Rene Hardigree, and god damn it, I'm going places.
Ever since middle school, I've been battling with it. The reasons don't matter, but I always had this awful, awful feeling that I meant absolutely nothing to anyone. That no one would miss me when I was gone. That my life would be better for everyone if I just offed myself.
I hated myself for a long, long time.
A few weeks ago, the thoughts started to return. But as I let myself meet new people, forget about the people that hurt me, and get out of the house more, they gradually faded away. I'm happy now. I know who I am. I know what i'm going to do. And I'm trying to get a job and my permit test is next month.
I've come a long way since then. And I know now that if I ever did something as stupid as that, a lot of people would cry. And my life is just beginning. I used to think that people that said: "High school is only the beginning. Life starts after it." were stupid and didn't know shit. But I was wrong. College is the best experience of my life. I've met so many people, and I'm having so much fun. I'm learning loads. I've never been so happy, so at peace in my entire life.
I might get a job at Payless. It's a weekend job, but it's something. I'm going to be driving soon. I'm going to have freedom. I have money now. And my parents are being kind to me for the first time since I was little. I'm really, honestly...happy.
It's like all the shit I went through, now I'm finally free. I feel lighter and just all around a better person.
:] Heavy blog post is heavy. But it's great to write it and look back at how far I've come.
I joined Japanese Culture Club and Anime Club. I went to movie ngiht tonight and hung out with people. It was great.
I'm ready for my life to begin, and I'm going to stop looking back. Fuck the people that hurt me. I'm not going to beg for them to come back anymore. They can live their life. And if they come crawling back to me, they can go fuck themselves. I'm not taking anyone's shit anymore. I'll never put myself in a position to be used ever again.
I'm Rene Hardigree, and god damn it, I'm going places.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
I wish I was a boy. [/tmi]
Started my period and I am soooo bloated and in pain and just, like, doubled over. Sucks ass. I was gonna spend today working on homework, but my family is coming over today. x__X Randomly. For real, Mike was like: "SO WE'RE COMING OVER TODAY. =DDDD"
Thinking of scribbling in my sketchbook and doing my 20 drawings while they are here...I got an essay due Tuesday. But I guess I'll just bust my butt working on it either tonight or tomorrow. ORZ
Just speed-cleaned the house. I'm wearing that "first day of preiod" outfit that every girl has: a tight shirt to feel somewhat attractive, messy hair, and sweatpants. As jeans are very uncomfortable during this time. Mom is going to get me pain meds. Thank god for Midol, right?
I'd better try and see if I can finish my CSI extra credit before they get here. x__X
Thinking of scribbling in my sketchbook and doing my 20 drawings while they are here...I got an essay due Tuesday. But I guess I'll just bust my butt working on it either tonight or tomorrow. ORZ
Just speed-cleaned the house. I'm wearing that "first day of preiod" outfit that every girl has: a tight shirt to feel somewhat attractive, messy hair, and sweatpants. As jeans are very uncomfortable during this time. Mom is going to get me pain meds. Thank god for Midol, right?
I'd better try and see if I can finish my CSI extra credit before they get here. x__X
Saturday, September 18, 2010
I love the weekend
So, yesterday kinda sucked as my grandma was being a total psychotic cunt but I don't feel like going into it. Anyway, I went hopped on the bus and went job hunting yesterday. Payless has an opening for a weekend job, which is perfect for me, really. I submitted my application yesterday, and I'm gonna call the manager today.
Wish me luck!
Game Stop is filled with assholes that only want people with sales experience. Since when is that important? You need to be a gamer, first and foremost! The guy working there pretty much told me I had no chance. Uuugh.
I also went to Happy Hour at Chevy's with my cousin and my mom. It was pretty fun. Afterwards, we saw Devil and Easy A. Both were surprisingly EXTREMELY good, especially Easy A. I loved it! It reminded me of Juno, and I'm gonna look out for that actress. She has a rockin' body and she is an awesome actress (lol at which one I put first).
While I was in Game Stop, I boughhhtttt.....The Last Remnant. For $15. Hope it's good. I've been playing the s hit out of Uncharted 2 and I luuurves it. :]]]]
Wish me luck!
Game Stop is filled with assholes that only want people with sales experience. Since when is that important? You need to be a gamer, first and foremost! The guy working there pretty much told me I had no chance. Uuugh.
I also went to Happy Hour at Chevy's with my cousin and my mom. It was pretty fun. Afterwards, we saw Devil and Easy A. Both were surprisingly EXTREMELY good, especially Easy A. I loved it! It reminded me of Juno, and I'm gonna look out for that actress. She has a rockin' body and she is an awesome actress (lol at which one I put first).
While I was in Game Stop, I boughhhtttt.....The Last Remnant. For $15. Hope it's good. I've been playing the s hit out of Uncharted 2 and I luuurves it. :]]]]
Sunday, September 12, 2010
While we were laughing, it was fun, fun, fun
Second Saturday was kinda boring, but I had a lot of fun just being out and about. Me and Bravo kinda wandered, and we left after two hours or so. Then we went to the Asian Market and bought some food. Udon noodles are hella cheap, man! When I go off to college, I'm gonna fill my fridge with udon and ice cream mochi, ho'kay?
Afterwards, we came to my house and he helped me get passed that scary part in Uncharted! We did a tag-team thingy. The final boss in Uncharted was AMAZING~!!!! It was really frustrating, but MAN, the part where he was dragging over the edge with El Dorado...Man.
I was kinda disappointed, though. You know the main villain? And how he opened El Dorado and became zombie-like? I was totally expecting this awesome transformation scene and a mini-boss fight before the final boss, but he just kinda died in a cut scene and fell over. xD It was kind of funny, actually. That game is pretty good with its: "OH SHIT" moments, though!
Yawwwn. I'm tired. I had loads of fun yesterday, though. I was supposed to go to Shirley's today, but my cousin Gina called my mom at like 8 a.m and invited her somewhere.....all day. So there goes my ride. ANd Shirley's parents are gone, too, so I can't get a ride. @__@ And it's way too far to walk. Oh well. This is going to be my junk food and anime day.
I'm on episode 12 of Ghost Hunt, and it's GREAT. I'm in love with the series right now. The last time I went through an anime this quick was Uragiri o__o Which reminds me, the episode came out today.
...
And I have homework.
DO. NOT. WANT.
Meh. I'll do it tonight if I remember it.
And how do you make udon with no chicken stock? FML
Afterwards, we came to my house and he helped me get passed that scary part in Uncharted! We did a tag-team thingy. The final boss in Uncharted was AMAZING~!!!! It was really frustrating, but MAN, the part where he was dragging over the edge with El Dorado...Man.
I was kinda disappointed, though. You know the main villain? And how he opened El Dorado and became zombie-like? I was totally expecting this awesome transformation scene and a mini-boss fight before the final boss, but he just kinda died in a cut scene and fell over. xD It was kind of funny, actually. That game is pretty good with its: "OH SHIT" moments, though!
Yawwwn. I'm tired. I had loads of fun yesterday, though. I was supposed to go to Shirley's today, but my cousin Gina called my mom at like 8 a.m and invited her somewhere.....all day. So there goes my ride. ANd Shirley's parents are gone, too, so I can't get a ride. @__@ And it's way too far to walk. Oh well. This is going to be my junk food and anime day.
I'm on episode 12 of Ghost Hunt, and it's GREAT. I'm in love with the series right now. The last time I went through an anime this quick was Uragiri o__o Which reminds me, the episode came out today.
...
And I have homework.
DO. NOT. WANT.
Meh. I'll do it tonight if I remember it.
And how do you make udon with no chicken stock? FML
Saturday, September 11, 2010
GUESS WHAT!?
I'm going to Second Saturday today!
WITHOUT MY MOM.
Oh my GOD. My mom is letting me GET OUT AND DO STUFF!
I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WITHOUT MY MOM.
Oh my GOD. My mom is letting me GET OUT AND DO STUFF!
I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
A bit of an update.
Yesterday I nearly got into a fist fight with my mom.
:D
Yeah, for real. I came home after taking two huge tests I spent ALL weekend studying for (you know the ones), and she's like: "I want you to clean the house."
Screw that shit, man. I was like: "But I'm tired!"
And she was like: "You don't know what hard work i sbecause you don't have a job! College, in comparison, is easy!"
She went on a tangent like that for a while, and I was like: "Well, maybe you'd know how hard college is if you didn't fuck around all your life, drop out of high school, and get knocked up at 20."
To which she had no response other than to nearly shove me into the brick fireplace.
Dipshit. We're cool now, though. She's so immature sometimes, I mean uuugh.
I got my English essay back! I got a C on it. WTF. College is harder than I thought! T__T I think my English professor is secretly a bitch, h'okay? But whatever, I'm gonna rewrite the first page and then everything will be bueno~
And I got my Art thingy I did on Tuesday back. The bitch gave me a C+! A C+, on something I worked on for like an hour! I was like: "Why did I get a C+ when I worked so hard on it?"
And she was like: "I don't care if you worked hard on it."
Well, maybe if she was a good professor I wouldn't suck so bad. Ever think of that?
I re-did the drawing and re-submitted it, and she said it was way better. She's a crackpot, that one.
But in other news, I got an A on my English test. But I failed my Asian Civ test...I kinda feel like a failure, even though it was by one question and I can redo it at any time. I only missed two questions o_O But it was like an 8 question test, so, yeah. Stupid Hinduism.
Rene's To Do List
Watch Ghost Hunt
Re-do first page of essay
Study for make-up Asian Civ test.
Do English homework due Tuesday
Start on Asian Civ project hopefully (Kabuki)
It's not too much of a load~ I also wanna beat Uncharted this weekend. I wanna borrow Uncharted 2 from somebody! T-T
:D
Yeah, for real. I came home after taking two huge tests I spent ALL weekend studying for (you know the ones), and she's like: "I want you to clean the house."
Screw that shit, man. I was like: "But I'm tired!"
And she was like: "You don't know what hard work i sbecause you don't have a job! College, in comparison, is easy!"
She went on a tangent like that for a while, and I was like: "Well, maybe you'd know how hard college is if you didn't fuck around all your life, drop out of high school, and get knocked up at 20."
To which she had no response other than to nearly shove me into the brick fireplace.
Dipshit. We're cool now, though. She's so immature sometimes, I mean uuugh.
I got my English essay back! I got a C on it. WTF. College is harder than I thought! T__T I think my English professor is secretly a bitch, h'okay? But whatever, I'm gonna rewrite the first page and then everything will be bueno~
And I got my Art thingy I did on Tuesday back. The bitch gave me a C+! A C+, on something I worked on for like an hour! I was like: "Why did I get a C+ when I worked so hard on it?"
And she was like: "I don't care if you worked hard on it."
Well, maybe if she was a good professor I wouldn't suck so bad. Ever think of that?
I re-did the drawing and re-submitted it, and she said it was way better. She's a crackpot, that one.
But in other news, I got an A on my English test. But I failed my Asian Civ test...I kinda feel like a failure, even though it was by one question and I can redo it at any time. I only missed two questions o_O But it was like an 8 question test, so, yeah. Stupid Hinduism.
Rene's To Do List
Watch Ghost Hunt
Re-do first page of essay
Study for make-up Asian Civ test.
Do English homework due Tuesday
Start on Asian Civ project hopefully (Kabuki)
It's not too much of a load~ I also wanna beat Uncharted this weekend. I wanna borrow Uncharted 2 from somebody! T-T
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
A bunch of depressing rambling.
The sheer amount of how much people suck astounds me.
I try and act like I don't give a shit what people think about me, but I do. The fact is one of my best friends up and said: "I don't want to talk to you anymore." Yet I'm still trying to talk to her. I don't understand it. I really don't. I just can't stand being shut out of someone's life so coldly like that. I don't get it.
And then there's psycho facebook chick. Which, I'm not sure if I want to deal with anymore, but I hate being fucking ignored more than anything else. It just makes me...Ugh.
I love college, but I just want to sleep. I'm over-tired nad Grandma woke me up at 5:30 today banging shit around. I'm exhausted, and I have 2 tests tomorrow and Uncharted is pissing me off and I think my period is changing times because I think I'm PMSing, which is weird.
Whoa. Hello, run-on sentence.
I think I'm just overly upset because of Michelle. I don't get it....I know her stupid girlfriend is telling her to do all of this shit. Even though she won't admit to it. I hate weak-willed people like that. It's awful, but I really hope they break up so I can get my friend back. Because it's not fair I'm always the one that gets fucking shut out like this! I'm always the person people get tired of, I'm always the person people use. They only talk to me because they want or need something from me, then they shove me aside like some fucking dirty laundry. Everyone does it.
And after all of that, if I say one thing is going wrong with me, they say: "I'm not your therapist." Or something like that. Yes, it has happened before. Like three times. I just wish one day, just one, someone could ask if I'm okay. Because I'm not. I'm using this blog to rant, so, yeah. That's all the shit going on in my head.
My grandma started radiation treatments today. She's doing it all week. The first treatment went well, but everyone's on edge and it's killing me. I just want to lie down and sleep for a couple of hours and forget everything. Is that too much to ask for? The closest thing I have to that is video games, because I essentially turn my brain off.
Man...I really don't want to be alone right now. But it's not like anyone's going to listen to me, anyhow. Guess I'll go back to my video games. Writing the blog didn't make me feel better, though.
I try and act like I don't give a shit what people think about me, but I do. The fact is one of my best friends up and said: "I don't want to talk to you anymore." Yet I'm still trying to talk to her. I don't understand it. I really don't. I just can't stand being shut out of someone's life so coldly like that. I don't get it.
And then there's psycho facebook chick. Which, I'm not sure if I want to deal with anymore, but I hate being fucking ignored more than anything else. It just makes me...Ugh.
I love college, but I just want to sleep. I'm over-tired nad Grandma woke me up at 5:30 today banging shit around. I'm exhausted, and I have 2 tests tomorrow and Uncharted is pissing me off and I think my period is changing times because I think I'm PMSing, which is weird.
Whoa. Hello, run-on sentence.
I think I'm just overly upset because of Michelle. I don't get it....I know her stupid girlfriend is telling her to do all of this shit. Even though she won't admit to it. I hate weak-willed people like that. It's awful, but I really hope they break up so I can get my friend back. Because it's not fair I'm always the one that gets fucking shut out like this! I'm always the person people get tired of, I'm always the person people use. They only talk to me because they want or need something from me, then they shove me aside like some fucking dirty laundry. Everyone does it.
And after all of that, if I say one thing is going wrong with me, they say: "I'm not your therapist." Or something like that. Yes, it has happened before. Like three times. I just wish one day, just one, someone could ask if I'm okay. Because I'm not. I'm using this blog to rant, so, yeah. That's all the shit going on in my head.
My grandma started radiation treatments today. She's doing it all week. The first treatment went well, but everyone's on edge and it's killing me. I just want to lie down and sleep for a couple of hours and forget everything. Is that too much to ask for? The closest thing I have to that is video games, because I essentially turn my brain off.
Man...I really don't want to be alone right now. But it's not like anyone's going to listen to me, anyhow. Guess I'll go back to my video games. Writing the blog didn't make me feel better, though.
It's hilarious that....
Someone seriously stopped talking to me because of something I liked on Facebook.
Life is crazy sometimes.
Oh well. It obviously wasn't a strong friendship if someone flipped out over something like that. Epic fail much?
I'm on chapter 12 of Uncharted. Got two huge tests tomorrow, I'm kind of nervous.
I'm in a bit of a bad mood right now, but whatever. People fucking suck. I just have to get used to the fact that not everyone is as considerate (or sane) as I am.
Life is crazy sometimes.
Oh well. It obviously wasn't a strong friendship if someone flipped out over something like that. Epic fail much?
I'm on chapter 12 of Uncharted. Got two huge tests tomorrow, I'm kind of nervous.
I'm in a bit of a bad mood right now, but whatever. People fucking suck. I just have to get used to the fact that not everyone is as considerate (or sane) as I am.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
It's too early.
Went to the hot tub last night with my cousin and my mom, then we watched Abandoned. My mom was working out in the little gym there, so I actually got to talk to my cousin for a good forty minutes or so before she came back. =DDD
My mom has this thing where if there is anyone else around, she will try and make fun of me in front of them to show her dominance. And if I say anything about it, she'll scream at me. Even Gina noticed it, so I know I'm not crazy.
Yesterday I got my Asian Civ study guide, and my CSI study guide done. Now I gotta do my English homework and finish my essay. But here's the kicker: We're going to Roseville tonight to spend the night at Mike's house (Family friend. His kids are like my siblings, practically) and all day Monday at his house. .__.; So...If I don't finish it before we leave around 6, I'm pretty much fucked. =DDD
CAN I DO IT!?
Augh...My mind is racing. About everything. It's really, seriously awful. I laid there for an hour trying to go back to sleep, but....Man, I'm gonna be super tired later on.
My mom has this thing where if there is anyone else around, she will try and make fun of me in front of them to show her dominance. And if I say anything about it, she'll scream at me. Even Gina noticed it, so I know I'm not crazy.
Yesterday I got my Asian Civ study guide, and my CSI study guide done. Now I gotta do my English homework and finish my essay. But here's the kicker: We're going to Roseville tonight to spend the night at Mike's house (Family friend. His kids are like my siblings, practically) and all day Monday at his house. .__.; So...If I don't finish it before we leave around 6, I'm pretty much fucked. =DDD
CAN I DO IT!?
Augh...My mind is racing. About everything. It's really, seriously awful. I laid there for an hour trying to go back to sleep, but....Man, I'm gonna be super tired later on.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Getting into the college groove.
I've got a lot of stuff to do! うわああ～！たいへんですよね～
But I'm gonna do my best~
I've got 3 tests next week, an essay to turn in, and I have to start on my 20 drawings that are due on the 27th of this month.
Today, my cousin Gina had a garage sale at our house. xD;;; So I basically sat outside all day, working on my CSI study guide. I helped persuade people to visit us by waving and guilting them into stopping by through being nice. I am awesome. :]]]
It took me all day, but I finally finished my CSI study guide. I'm so glad we can use notecards. I'm really excited to get this test out of the way. The bad news? Well, I have a test like this every 3 weeks...Which really, really sucks, to say the very least. @__@
My schedule is basically like this:
Essay and English test on Tuesday
Asian Civ test and CSI test on Wednesday.
So, by Thursday, I won't be all stressed out anymore! Thank God.
My mom and Gina went to Wal MArt to get gigantic salads, apparently. Sounds like a yummy dinner to me! All I ate today was some Taco Bell at, like, 2 o'clock or something. I've been eating so bad lately. I hope I don't gain any weight. T__T
Anyway, time to go work on my Asian Civilization study guide, do my English homework, and hopefully start my English essay.
....
Aww, who am I kidding? I'm probably gonna go back to playing Tokimeki Memorial. x3
But I'm gonna do my best~
I've got 3 tests next week, an essay to turn in, and I have to start on my 20 drawings that are due on the 27th of this month.
Today, my cousin Gina had a garage sale at our house. xD;;; So I basically sat outside all day, working on my CSI study guide. I helped persuade people to visit us by waving and guilting them into stopping by through being nice. I am awesome. :]]]
It took me all day, but I finally finished my CSI study guide. I'm so glad we can use notecards. I'm really excited to get this test out of the way. The bad news? Well, I have a test like this every 3 weeks...Which really, really sucks, to say the very least. @__@
My schedule is basically like this:
Essay and English test on Tuesday
Asian Civ test and CSI test on Wednesday.
So, by Thursday, I won't be all stressed out anymore! Thank God.
My mom and Gina went to Wal MArt to get gigantic salads, apparently. Sounds like a yummy dinner to me! All I ate today was some Taco Bell at, like, 2 o'clock or something. I've been eating so bad lately. I hope I don't gain any weight. T__T
Anyway, time to go work on my Asian Civilization study guide, do my English homework, and hopefully start my English essay.
....
Aww, who am I kidding? I'm probably gonna go back to playing Tokimeki Memorial. x3
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